By: Prisca Liliane
“It's such a stupid question, in my opinion. I mean, how do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't. I think I am, but how do I know? I swear it's a stupid question.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye.
Often, I hear from a wide range of friends and colleagues that I am strong and spontaneous. The fact that I can pick up and leave a space and never look back appears to be courageous to folk. I proudly do NOT subscribe to the notion that one has to live their entire lives within the same city or state. No shade to those who do, I just cannot do that. Once I graduated high school back in 2005, that was literally the last time I permanently lived in my home state of Texas- that was almost 16 years ago.
I have lived in five different cities in three different states within the last 4 years. After working in Property Management and Corporate Real Estate for 8 years, I decided to only take on contract work and relocate as much as possible. I always landed a new job, nabbed a cute place to live, and managed to “escape” the realities of my past. While I claimed to enjoy leaving- I was running away.
My personal mantra has always been “I will leave before being left.” This pertains to intimate relationships, friendships and jobs. If places become "too familiar" or "too blah", I leave. If my intuition is telling me a person is acting strange or “about “to do me wrong, I would dip. It wasn’t until my recent location last fall, where I realized it was the first time I ever felt at “home”. The city where I am now living and working, feels permanent to me. I KNOW I am supposed to be here.
Working with my new therapist, she has helped me come to my awareness of who I was and who I am now. I am no longer the woman who holds in her feelings- I share them. I am unapologetic about my wants and needs. I am firm in my words and I feel good about it.
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